Leave me alone! Project Runway is on!

I never really contributed to the stereotype.  See, I'm from North Carolina, a pretty conservative state.  After all we did elect Jesse Helms to five terms in the U.S. Senate.  The same Jesse Helms that filibustered for 16 days to try and prevent the passing of a federal holiday to honor Martin Luther King, Jr.  You can talk to me until you're blue in the face and you will never make me understand that on any level.  That's just the tip of the iceberg where good ole' Jesse is concerned.  This isn't Jesse Helms bashing hour though.  I just need to give credit where credit is due.  He is but one of the reasons that I'm a very liberal southerner.  

Of course that puts me in a minority.  I'm used to it.  I also spent over twenty years in the U.S. Navy so I understand being in a minority, politically speaking, very well.  Probably 90% of my friends growing up in North Carolina are conservative and come from conservative families.  I'd be lying if I said I didn't struggle with that at times but, at the end of the day, these are the kind of people who made me who I am and I love them all dearly, regardless of their political leanings. 

Speaking of leanings, what about me?  You probably need to have more of an idea where I'm coming from if you  are even going to consider reading anymore of my ramblings or tirades.  Ramblings and tirades, mind you, that come from my heart and are very rarely based in any kind of fact.  I may be that crazy monster you heard of when you were young, the "Bleeding Heart Liberal".  I'm sure those of you that know me understand how incredibly dangerous I can be!!  Anyways, don't waste your time trying to talk sense into me, but I do enjoy hearing others views and will happily partake in a civilized discussion, but I'm 42 years old and you're not going to change my fucking mind.  Best case scenario you will read my blog, laugh a little and it will reaffirm where you stand no matter which side of the fence you are on.  Worse case scenario you'll read it, think I'm stupid and decide not to be my friend anymore.  I can live with either of those outcomes.  

Okay, where were we?  Southern liberal.  What exactly does that mean?  It means I'm basically President Barrack Obama except I'm white, talk with a southern accent and I'm NOT the President.  Oh and I'm fatter than he is.  And possibly more liberal.  He kind of wusses out on occasions.  

I'm also "borderline" metrosexual.  Marinate on that for a few moments............   Alright I'll let you off the hook.  What that means is that I'm not against keeping my pubic area well groomed but I draw the line at pedicures and manicures.  At least that's the way I have it thought out in my head.  I also like watching TV shows that some people easily paint as "gay" if viewed by a self professed heterosexual man.  Project Runway, Glee, The Bachelor, So You Think You Can Dance, etc.  The list is long.  I do watch "cool" shit too! 

In my defense, years ago when the shame and guilt of watching those shows was getting to me I tried to make a change.  I figured that if I'm being called "gay" all the time then I might as well go for the gusto.  I had watched something on 60 Minutes or some other news magazine where all these people were saying how being homosexual was a choice.   This was it!!  It was a revelation and I felt so inspired!  All those years of struggling with girls and in heterosexual relationships was over!!  I'm going to be gay now!!!  I couldn't have been happier.   I was ready to shout it from the mountain tops!!!  I'm gay!!! And I'm not talking about being happy!!! 

There was one problem though.  No matter how hard I tried I could not become aroused by the thought of being intimate with another man.  There's no way these people could have been lying right?  They said it was a lifestyle "choice" after all.  A choice!  So if my shitty hetero life wasn't going well I could just choose to try the other route.  That's what I thought they meant.  Could I have misunderstood what they were saying?  I went as far as lighting a few candles, pulling up a pic of George Clooney on the internet and spending some "quality" time with myself. I mean, if you can't get worked up over George Clooney then there's just no hope.  Nothing.  I was starting to wonder if something was wrong with me.  I mean if I choose to put my shoes on then I just put my damn shoes on and it's done!  That's what a choice is right?  So I made one last ditch effort to understand this logic and tried to remember when it was that I chose to be attracted to girls.  I mean that had to be a big day for me.  Surely I'd remember making that conscious decision.  Still nothing.  You know why?  Because it's not a fucking choice that's why!!! 

I guess I went on a little tangent there but that's going to happen from time to time if you read this shit.  So make your choice.  You can read my blog entries or you can skip it, either way I'll understand.  This won't be for everyone.   

Now, shut the hell up and leave me alone.  Project Runway is coming on.